On Men Crying

I was talking with a couple of coworkers yesterday and one of them mentioned how he doesn’t cry. He said he can take a lot of physical pain and not cry. He then said that he would cry if he saw his wife crying and finally admitted that he does cry sometimes. My other coworker said he used to be cold but once he warmed up he cries all the time.

For my part, I don’t cry. I’ve never been much of a cryer. Every now and again I’ll shed a single tear at the end of a movie or something, but never hysterics. They then tried to persuade me that I would cry in certain situations, as if my stating that I don’t cry was somehow an attack on them being crybabies. It wasn’t.

So here’s my stance on men crying: it’s okay sometimes. I find that there are certain times when it’s completely appropriate for men to cry. First, in times of extreme physical/emotional pain. Jesus cried in the Garden of Gethsemane and when Lazarus died. Are we better than him? Last, but not least, when one is enveloped in the presence of God. Sometimes being in the presence of God brings forth tears that can’t be controlled.

I used to separate physical and emotional pain. Now, not so much. Pain is pain, and extreme pain is extreme pain. I will say that I’m put off by overly emotional men who cry at the drop of a hat. For example, I once saw a man cry after reuniting with a friend that he hadn’t seen in roughly 3 months. That was a bit much for me. I’ve seen men cry for reasons far more absurd than that as well. I do not advocate such crying.

But that’s just me…

B”H

2 thoughts on “On Men Crying

  1. Sometimes I get really weepy with joy when I read about the resurrection of Jesus.

    And of course the single tear in movies, like when Mick tells Rocky, “Get up you sonuvab*tch, beacuse Micky loves, ya.”

    But your point about overly weepy guys rings true. I feel there is a manly level of enkrateia that is often ignored or treated as “bottling” rather than having some dang dignity.

    But maybe that’s just a gut reaction. Perhaps I’m just a jerk.

  2. Nope you’re not a jerk. As a woman, I can say it is instant disrespect I feel for men who cry over every little thing. There are normal times to cry and then some not so much. I knew a fellow who used to cry during arguments with his wife to get pity and stop the fight. That is a child not a man.

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