Bibliobloggers and Their Music Alter Egos

A couple of weeks ago Jim West had a visionary experience in which he saw who Bibliobloggers would be if they were characters on TV — I think it’s high time to see who some of these men and women would be if they were musicians.

I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day when I heard behind me a loud voice like a Fender Stratocaster guitar saying: “write on your blog what you see and post it for the three blogging continents — for North America, for Europe, and for Australia.” I turned to see who was speaking to me and when I did so I saw seven platinum blondes and in the midst of them was one like the Bishop of Durham (pbuh).  He was dressed in a scarlet shirt and wore a minister’s collar around his neck.  His hair was black and gray and grew only on the sides.  His feet were covered with well kept leather shoes and his voice was like the roar of many drunken British football (i.e. soccer) fans.  He held five academic degrees in his right hand and a new perspective extended out of his mouth.  His face shone like a cop’s flashlight after getting pulled over for swerving even though you hadn’t had a drop to drink because everyone knows that champagne isn’t even really alcohol, especially when you mix it with orange juice.  When I saw him I fell down at his feet from all of mimosas as though I were dead, but he put down his degrees, placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid, I’m an Anglican and I play the guitar, the one who publishes for scholars and laymen alike — therefore write what you see…”

This is what I saw:

  • Chris Tilling – Shabba Ranks (or Peter Gabriel)
  • Jim West – Art Garfunkel (or James Brown)
  • Ben Myers – Jim Morrison
  • Doug Chaplain – Luciano Pavarotti
  • John F. Hobbins – Bob Dylan
  • Ben Witherington, III – Tupac Shakur
  • Michael F. Bird – Bob Dylan
  • Mark Goodacre – Freddy Mercury
  • The Evangelical Textual Critics – The Temptations (or Wu Tang Clan)
  • Peter Leithart – Liberace
  • The Novum Testamentum Crew – The Partridge Family (or the Osmonds)
  • Josh McManaway – Elvis Costello
  • Mike Aubrey – Wyclef Jean
  • Sean BabuElvis Presley Michael Jackson
  • C. Michael Patton – Bono
  • April DeConick – Cher
  • Claude Marionetti – Prince
  • Rob Bradshaw – Phil Collins

If anyone takes away from the words of this post of prophecy, God will take away his share in the tree of life and in the holy city that are described in that other book that I didn’t write…


Update (10:33 AM): Jim West doesn’t know who Tilling’s Musical Alter Egos are so I thought for his benefit I’d provide a pic or two.

Peter Gabriel-55896
Shabba Ranks Peter Gabriel

Update (5:23 PM): There were a couple of bloggers that I forgot to record because let’s face it, those mimosas can do a number on you.

  • Christopher Heard — Yanni
  • Peter Kirk — David Bowie
  • Danny Zacharias —  John Oates (from Hall and Oates)
  • Loren Rossen, III — John Lenon
  • James Tabor — David Crosby

8 thoughts on “Bibliobloggers and Their Music Alter Egos

  1. Elvis? *barfs*

    Try severe (German) classical music, 80’s pop, CCC but nothing after 1993, Twila Paris, Celtic hymns.

    No Elvis. No Beetles.
    No rap.
    No PMS rock (well, maybe occasionally to remind me my life is pretty good).
    Absolutely no country that you can hum along with going “Dur dur dur” and it fits. **double barfs**

  2. Oh and those are funny! Especially Goodacre and Witherington… And, as an aside, I don’t know who Tilling’s are. Names unfamiliar I’m afraid.

  3. I’ll be gone till November…thank you very much.

    I’ll take Wyclef Jean…I would have preferred someone like Eliot Smith, but this’ll do.

  4. Mike,

    You’d be amazed at the similarities (apart from the obvious physical resemblance) — Wyclef is fluent in a number of languages and he is also a pastor’s kid — thus says the Spirit of Wright.

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